so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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