what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
