so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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