Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
i believe in u and ur pee
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
