Bisexual people are plain selfish.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She's the barista slut.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
