I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
In America we eat man semen.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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