hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
