belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Ketchup is God's man juice
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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