I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
