I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
