i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
