so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
