Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
did i walk over a car last night?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
