physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
