absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
