she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
