16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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