Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
