Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
