I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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