i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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