If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
