You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
