wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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