After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
