I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
