my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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