White coat. Heels.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He better not be in your backpack
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
