no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
