Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
