hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
