you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
