Betty ford says i'm here all night
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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