OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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