So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
