Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
