Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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