If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
