I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
