im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
