You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
