How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
