Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
