i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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