it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
