Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
