I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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