Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
