Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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