no, he came in my armpit
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
