And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
