i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
