god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
